The Al’s: A Co-Intern Blog-Like Production

Episode 1: Introductions

Setting: The SolidLine Media Production Offices, a Friday morning.

(The two interns, Allison Miller, or Ali, and Alex Blanchette, or Alex, sit at their desks, back-to-back in their swivel chairs)

Alex: Ali, I don’t know what to do for my blog post.

Ali: We should just write out blogs together.

Alex: Done.

(an hour later)
Alex: Ali, I don’t know what our blog post should be about.

Ali: Why don’t we just do one of those dumb Facebook surveys to introduce ourselves.

Alex: Done and done.  But it’ll be more fun to act like we’re actually being interviewed.

Ali: Could we get Kevin to help?
(both swivel and face Kevin, hopeful looks on their faces)
Kevin: Um… hello.

(both turn and look at each other, smiling)

1. Most fun thing that you did today?

Alex: I had to convince someone via text that I was not a woman named Ashley, so that was a little entertaining.
Ali: Today I witnessed 11:11 AM on 11/11/11. It came and went like an elegant gull over the sun kissed mountaintops, leaving me breathless and ready for a nap.

2. favorite card game?

Alex: Five-Hundred, or in a pinch, Euchre.

Ali: Euchre

3. have you ever rolled around in the grass?

Alex: Almost certainly, although I can’t say I can remember a specific time or incidence of it.
Ali: I frolicked with my Centaur chum in the grassy fields til the authorities showed up, then the music stopped.

4. have you been to the coca cola factory?!

Alex: No… (shifts uncomfortably in seat)

Ali: No, but I aspire to someday.

5. do you prefer mexican food or american?

Alex: I don’t know what all qualifies as American food, but I guess it’s a 25-75 split in favor of traditional American fare over Mexican. Although I do really enjoy good Mexican.

Ali: Mexicanized American food

6. would you choose your answer to no. 5 over italian?

Alex: I still maintain yes, although it’s probably closer to a 40-60 split, although Italian wins in the dessert category, because I love me some tiramisu.
Ali: I’m gonna go with my gut, and say yes.

7. longest time that you’ve stayed awake for?

Alex: I think it may be close to 24-26 hours without a nap. I would have been able to stay awake longer, but at some point, you just have to ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?”
Ali: 4 hours

8. can you unwrap a starburst in you mouth?!

Alex: Yes. Yes I can.
Ali: I mean, I don’t like to brag but…. Well. Let’s just say I dabble

9. why are you taking this survey?

Alex: It’s easier than creating a thoughtful, introspective blog post. Now, can we go back a few questions? Why did you ask a separate follow-up question about Italian food? It seems that you’re implying the superiority of Italian food over either other choice. I think as an interviewer, you should strive for objectivity in your question selection. I’m sorry. I digress.
Ali: Apparently it’s a requirement of all SolidLine interns, so I am honored.

10. do you know who johnny depp is?

Alex: Well, he is still fairly popular in the U.S., so it would be pretty abnormal for me to not know who he is.
Ali: I don’t judge

12. so…major in college?

Alex: Radio/TV Communications and Music. Wait, I thought you were going somewhere with the Johnny Depp thing. Is that all you had? No anecdote… or… okay.
Ali: What are college?

13. johnny depp or orlando bloom?

Alex: Oh. So we’re back to that. Um… I guess I’ll go with Orlando Bloom, since he seems less aloof with his celebrity standing, but I can’t say there’s much difference between them for me. But I get the feeling you were trying to get me to say Johnny Depp. Again with the strange leading questions.
Ali: I’m torn. They both have impressive facial hair scenarios

14. do you like scented candles??

Alex: Oh, absolutely. How could you not like scented candles? I mean, there are certain smells I prefer over others, but as a whole, yes.
Ali: Lavender’s my fav

15. have you ever been in a scented candle store?!

Alex: (nods slowly) Yes. A few.

Ali: Totez!!!

16. did you faint in it?

Alex: I’m sorry? In the scented candle store? Faint? Um… no. Is that a common thing?

Ali: I tried maintaining composure, but it was an overwhelming experience.

17. abercrombie or anticrombie??

Alex: Indifferentcrombie. The realm of brand clothing is not one I’ve ever been tempted to explore any more than in the aisles of Kohl’s.
Ali: I’ve never been to anticrombie, I’ll have to google it

18. do you think that you’re fat?

Alex: Objectively, I’m just above the normal/overweight threshold of recommended body mass.
Ali: I eat like a toddler.

19. gummy bears or gummy worms?

Alex: An odd follow-up, but worms. Sour Patch Kids trump both.
Ali: Worms all the way!

20. did you watch lindsay lohan’s i know who killed me?

Alex: No. It looked pretty… not good.
Ali: This survey suddenly got dirty

21. do you prefer it over her last twin movie? which was the parent trap btw…

Alex: Uh, spoiler alert? I can’t imagine any Lindsay Lohan twin movie I would prefer over The Parent Trap. It, Freaky Friday, and Mean Girls are the reasons I still believe there is a real, albeit damaged, person that resides in Lindsay Lohan’s body.
Ali: Skyyyy rockets in flight, afternoon delight!

22. are you wearing socks right now? if you are what color?

Alex: Uh… (looks down slowly, looks back up) Yes. (beat) White.
Ali: Yes, four pair. Black, pink, orange, and bananas

23. YM, AIM, or MSN?

Alex: Historically, AIM, but I can’t remember the last time I used any of those three.
Ali: I prefer smoke signals, call me old fashioned.

24. quick! you have to search something up…yahoo, google, or askjeeves?

Alex: Google.

25. why?!

Alex: It’s my home page, and it loads faster.
Ali: Because she has impeccable taste, and I trust her.

26. name a toy that you’ve always wanted but never got the chance to have

Alex: One of the big Erector sets, the ones that come with like 60 models. I still may get one on a whim one day.
Ali: Baby Born Lil Wagon

27. favorite 90’s tv show?!

Alex: NewsRadio. The cast on that show was incredible.
Ali: Top 5: Dinosaurs, The Commish, Saved by the Bell, In Living Color, and ER

28. so how’d you do on your last math test?

Alex: Uh, well, it was about eight years ago, but I’m almost positive I killed it.
Ali: Kevin hasn’t graded it yet… It could go either way.

29. last english test?

Alex: Hm… probably a B. My last English class was combined with a Western Civilization class, so I couldn’t tell you whether it was over the writing style or the content itself.
Ali: errrday

30. how often do you cut your toenails?

Alex: Whenever I plan on showing my toes anyone other than my roommates, or whenever I become constantly aware of their existence. Whichever comes first.
Ali: When Michael and Greg tell me it’s time.

31. do you guys have light dimmers in your house?

Alex: Not in my new place, but I have had places with light dimmers before. They’re nice.
Ali: I’m glad you asked. Yes.

32. why does the boy’s bathroom smell so much?

Alex: I suppose if you were peed on as much as a men’s room, you’d smell too.
Ali: Because boys have cooties, silly!

33. are you afraid of the number 23?

Alex: I’m confused. Question 23? or the actual Number 23? Because the answer to either is no.
Ali: That’s my age, and it’s been extremely daunting thus far.

34. are you afraid of any number at all?

Alex: No?
Ali: Fractions make me nervous

35. who was the last person that gave you a written letter?

Alex: An actual letter? Probably one of my friends from college, Sarah. Any form of physically written correspondence? My parents leave me notes when I come home to visit and they’re already sleeping.
Ali: Sean Connery… He quit phoning… and paging…

36. that you ate with at micky d’s?

Alex: Huh? Oh. The last person I ate at McDonald’s with? Um… that would be Kevin, yesterday.
Ali:  Sean Connery…

37. do you know what micky d’s is?

Alex: (silence, concerned look)
Ali: Sean………..

38. christmas tradition?

Alex: Church and presents. One that didn’t stick was my brother and I doing a shot for the Baby Jesus at midnight.
Ali: I used to dress up as Mrs. Claus when I worked at the nursing home. This year I imagine I’ll make pineapple casserole and wear my fashionable reindeer sweater.

39. what were you the last time that you dressed up for halloween?

Alex: I put on about seven snap-button shirts on top a T-Shirt and went as a Human Striptease. It went over well.
Ali: Chiquita banana lady. Boom chicka chicka boomchick!

40. best halloween costume ever?!

Alex: I’m a big fan of the Hanging Chad costume from How I Met Your Mother.
Ali: A lethargic troll with green hair.

41. do you think crocs are cool?

Alex: The animals or the footwear? The answer either way is that I think they’re okay, but I wouldn’t want to be caught in public with my feet in one.

Ali: Yes, but I tend to use the term “cool” quite loosely

42. how many magents do you guys have on your frige?

Alex: I do not know what either ‘magents’ or ‘frige’s are.
Ali: This guy has 3 magnets

43. what do you think about people who call refrigerators frigidaires?

Alex: The same as I do of people who call non-Kleenex facial tissues “Kleenex”. They’re misguided, but well-meaning.
Ali: I’m sitting right next to one, so I’d rather not say.

44. got any ice cream in the freezer? what flavor?

Alex: Unfortunately, no. And, irrelevant.
Ali: Chubby Hubby!

45. butter or magarine?

Alex: I’m going to assume you meant margarine just then, but, again, depending on what you meant just then, no, I don’t have any in the freezer, but if it’s about my preference, butter.
Ali: Magarine? Is that a fruit? Is it magical?

46. do you know what the difference is?!

Alex: I believe one is primarily dairy-based, and the other is largely vegetable oils.
Ali: That’s a very personal question… I’m disappointed you went there.

47. do you know how to ride a bike?

Alex: Yes. Why?

Ali: I’m still using training wheels like a schmuck

48. kablahbarbleqwerty!!!!

Alex: Okay. This survey is done. I’m leaving.
Ali: I was thinking the same thing. I think we all were.

49. so what are you going to do after you finish this?

Alex: I will feel safer not answering that.

Ali: Attempt to salvage lost IQ points. MUAHAHAHAHA.

50. will your friends repost on facebook?

Alex: I do not wish this upon them.

Ali: Not a chance!

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